I woke up this morning, in my feelings. I wanted to play the victim, I wanted to hold on to every sad thought I had, every downturn in life, and every trifling conflict I may have encountered. I even subtly snapped at my husband, reminding him that he hadn't gone through what I'd gone through in life. Even in his attempt to understand, he doesn't. At the same time, I wanted to find peace in God, I wrote in my journal, I prayed with the kids, I listened to one of my favorite Gospel albums while driving, but I still could find no solace. Have you ever had one of those days where you felt like nothing worked, not even you? Where you want to call someone to vent or cry to, but your conscience keeps tugging at you to be strong, and this too shall pass? If I can be honest with you, I'm going through.
I'm going through a pivotal life changing moment and I don't know where to start or end some days, I just know to keep going, because according to Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." A couple of years ago, I was laid off from my job, this was the third time I was let go from a job in my adulthood. A few days later I met Bishop T.D. Jakes, at his book signing for "Soar." His mini sermon of the mother bird making the baby bird uncomfortable in the nest in order for him to learn to soar on his own, was a very poignant illustration in which I could relate. On my job just the year before, I was told that I had written one of the best proposals a board member had ever seen, the following year every proposal I wrote was reviewed and returned full of edits. Needless to say, I became very frustrated and stressed until God, just lifted me by my shoulders and pulled me away from a rather comfortable and familiar nest. However, the nest called me back again, but this time I was more aware of my surroundings and decided I would be in control of the outcome. I started out reading "Soar," with expectancy, as much as I love to write and act, I have to admit I am not an avid reader or film goer, when I do either, it is for information and for occasional enjoyment. During this time I was completing my first book, and I wanted to become a full time writer, I had even developed a work plan for my new role in the same nest, and for my own career goals. I picked up more work and put down "Soar" and needless to say my dreams took a shift and I eventually found myself back in the same position, out of the nest, attempting to soar again. Now I'm here, I'm soaring, I'm flying and I'm running into obstacles that are also known as feelings, but there are also some obstacles in sharing ideas that I feel God has given me. While I'm researching, I'm also listening to amazing people who may not have heard what I have heard from God, then I have others who are amazed with the ideas, both are excited about my embarkation but sometimes all of this can seem very confusing. I pause to say, " I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes." (Psalm 119:125)
You might be asking, what does this have to do with parenting. Everything. Some of you may be going through the very same thing I am going through, a pruning season, where God is challenging you to completely have faith in Him, at work, in your own career goals, in your marriage, or in your home. And some of you may specifically be going through this season with child rearing. There is a ton of research out there on children, from whether or not to spank, whether or not to get vaccinated, whether or not to send kids to school or home school, public vs. private education and the list goes on. If your child is struggling in any of these areas, life can seem exacerbating, and mere thoughts can seem more like a chore, especially if you are putting in the time to do the research. Proverbs 18:15 says, "The heart of the discerning gets knowledge. The ear of the wise seeks knowledge." I implore you to do as Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Ask God for a wise ear, but also a discerning heart, so that not only are you equipped with the knowledge for the task at hand, but you trust God to help you make wise decisions that honor Him.
When I got back home, I sat and cried for about five minutes, I was completely in my feelings. I was confused, I wanted to have a pity party, between seeing inspirational messages from so many of my Facebook friends and especially those who were going through battles with sickness and death, God would not let me stay upset for long. I setup my laptop and began working. When I was let go from my job this last time, last month, I had 30 days to find something else before my last official day. I chose to listen to God, and immediately got to work on building a brand that honored Him. I am proud to say, because God has given me the vision, I've been putting plans into writing and I've been virtually working non-stop since day one, day 30 has not arrived yet, but I am seeing some blossoms.
Don't let your dream be deferred, don't let the vision God has given to you and your family, be cancelled out by the world's practical way of living. Be spirit minded, give your ideas an opportunity to flourish under God's authority. You may feel as though today is not your day, but rest assure, it is still the day the Lord has made and He hears your cry, we are reminded in Romans 8:26-28,"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Stand still and be fervent in prayer knowing that God's promises for your life will be fulfilled.